A photo of a sad giraffe


“Surprised We Made It This Far” Says Endangered Giraffe

4 Apr , 2018  

Giraffes are on the brink of endangerment thanks to decades of hunting and habitat destruction. Now featured on the endangered animals list, giraffes are “absolutely livid”. It’s a sad truth we must all come to terms with; our children may never get to ride a giraffe. “Our necks are embarrassingly long and it’s nothing more […]

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ALDI cashier being ticketed


ALDI Employee Ticketed For Scanning Over The Speed Limit

3 Mar , 2018  

Britain’s fastest serving supermarket ALDI is renowned for scanning dirt cheap products faster than you can respond to the cashiers “how are you?”. Employees are expected to scan at least 100 items per minute, which is approximately one hundred times faster than Tesco. If an employee fails to meet ALDI’s scanning policy, they must undergo […]

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Women laughing at a sad bodybuilder


Bodybuilder Disappointed by Lack of Sex Despite Basically Living in the Gym

19 Feb , 2018  

A Bodybuilders Sex Life A full-time bodybuilder faces a drought in the dating world as he struggles to get any action whatsoever, despite dedicating his entire life to lifting weights and improving his appearance. Yorkshire resident Tony ‘The Tank’ Mitchell is a weight lifter, bodybuilder and lover of Labrador puppies who claims to have a […]

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