Sports

Previously Sacked Football Manager Prepares to Lead New Club to Failure

6 Feb , 2018  

Sacked Football Manager Joins New Club and Sets About Destroying Them A FOOTBALL manager who was recently fired from a team he had ruined, has found a new job at another football team, which he can now start to ruin. The manager said: “when I got my marching orders from my previous club, I wasn’t […]

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Entertainment

Woman Gets Bad Luck, Despite Tweet Promising She Wouldn’t

4 Feb , 2018  

Retweet Doesn’t Stop Bad Luck Apparently SHOCK travelled across the world this morning after a Twitter user who retweeted a picture of a giraffe captioned “retweet this in 10 seconds or you’ll get bad luck” got bad luck. The user, an eighteen-year-old woman from Birmingham, was ironically trampled to death by a herd of giraffes […]

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Breaking, Entertainment

Man Accidentally Wears Clothes On ‘#WorkingNakedDay’

1 Feb , 2018  

Office Worker Forgets To Strip Off For Work Naked Day Administrative assistant Barry McDuckle has humiliated himself by forgetting about International Work Naked Day and turning up to his office wearing clothes. Despite being warned about the festivities the night before, by the attractive women in his workplace, he thought it was just a joke. […]

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Breaking

Actual Pronunciation of the Word ‘Scone’ is Finally Revealed!

31 Jan , 2018  

Historians Discover The Proper Way To Say ‘Scone’ Historians working for Sheffield Hallam University have recently discovered the proper pronunciation of the word. Whilst researching a totally different topic, one senior lecturer came across the details in a book. The lecturer, Professor Julia Oswaldi, was writing a thesis on foods that act as an aphrodisiac […]

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Entertainment

3 Reasons Why Yorkshire Puddings Are The Best Food Ever Created

30 Jan , 2018  

Humble Yorkshire Pudding Is National Favourite As it’s National Yorkshire Pudding day we thought we’d celebrate and honour the nations unsung food hero! 1. Gravy Savers Ever put too much gravy on a roast? Or has your idiot cousin made it the consistency of water? Well slap a few more Yorkshires on there and you’ll […]

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Sports

Unlikely MLS Player Set To Become Record Signing For Chelsea

30 Jan , 2018  

Chelsea Set To Land Key Player, Yerda Selsavon After spending the majority of the transfer window on the hunt for a target man, it appears Chelsea have finally made a signing. 24 year old Israeli international Yerda Selsavon, who currently plays for the Seattle Sounders, is rumoured to have agreed a contract. Both footed, able […]

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Politics

Labour Vows To Nationalise Kebab Shops When In Power

12 Jan , 2018  

Labour’s Kebab Shop Policy A Voter Favourite Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn, has vowed to nationalise kebab shops once his party come into power. The move will ensure all of the shops will be run by the government with the profits from each one going to benefit the country. A Labour party spokesperson […]

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Entertainment

Man Thinks He Is Cool Because His Laptop Has Stickers On It

12 Jan , 2018  

Stickered Laptop Ready To Rock The Library A man has had a confidence boost after putting stickers on his new laptop. Timmy Duggle, a student at the University of Sheffield, is thrilled with the way his laptop stands out. The stickers, purchased online, represent his love of out-there humour, unpopular bands and edgy memes. Duggles […]

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Politics

Trump Claims He Isn’t Compensating For Anything With His Huge Towers

12 Jan , 2018  

The Size of His Towers Aren’t Compensating For Anything, Says Trump 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump, says he isn’t making up for anything with his huge towers. President Trump has previously had to defend his teeny tiny baby hands from ridicule. Trump said: “What they say about my towers isn’t true. I […]

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Entertainment

Logan Paul Butchers Puppy For Latest Video, Apologises Apathetically

2 Jan , 2018  

Youtube Psycho Logan Paul Will Do Anything For Views It what appeared to be some Black Mirror level of crazy, Youtuber Logan Paul recently recorded a vlog with a dead body in the Japan’s notorious suicide forest. He later apologised – only when backlash started. For his most recent stunt he decided to murder a […]

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Entertainment

Gym Instructors Cash in on New Year Resolutioners

31 Dec , 2017  

Gym Owners Excited About Easy Money Chad Dangle, a South Yorkshire gym owner, is now minted due to the common New Year’s resolution of getting in shape. Dangle said: “My biggest concern at the minute is what colour my yacht should be. I’m really excited about selling gullible novices protein bars at £4 a pop. […]

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Entertainment

Essex Woman Excited to Give Up Her Resolutions After a Fortnight

31 Dec , 2017  

Plans Are Already Being Made to Cancel New Year Resolutions An Essex woman is excited to give up on her yearly resolutions after appearing committed to them for about a fortnight. Kathy Badgerbuckle of Colchester said: “I’m going to go to the gym three times a week, eat nothing but kale and rice and give […]

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