Entertainment

Conspiracy: Is Birmingham Real or Just a Myth?

10 Mar , 2018  

Is Birmingham Real? Will We Ever Know The Truth? We sent a reporter to the streets of Sheffield to ask people if they had ever been to Birmingham. Not one person said yes. Conclusion: Birmingham isn’t real and we’re all being lied to – here’s why. 1. A Quick Test Ask yourself ‘Have I ever […]

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Entertainment

University Students Can’t Tell Which Day of the Week It Is

9 Mar , 2018  

Days Merge Together For Uni Students An epidemic has spread throughout the country where University students are unable to tell which day of the week is which. Many have been reported as ‘confused’ or ‘monged out on the sofa’ without seeing sunlight for long periods of time. Our reporter placed himself in a student dorm […]

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Angry train commuters

Breaking

Train Commuters Demand More Consistent Ticket Inspections

9 Mar , 2018  

Daily train commuters are furious that they can get the train for free despite continuing to purchase tickets before the journey “to save money”. A group of Britons have recently voiced their opinion on the train ticket situation in the UK. Commuters aren’t happy with how inconsistent the ticket inspectors are with their rounds. They’ve been […]

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International Womens Day Protest

Breaking

Male-to-Female Transgender Op Faces 2.5x Price Surge on International Women’s Day

8 Mar , 2018  

International Women’s Day Price Surge Horror With #InternationalWomensDay trending on twitter, demand for male-to-female operations has shot through the roof. The NHS have taken a leaf out of Uber’s book and issued a 2.5x price surge for today only. International Women’s Day occurs on the 8th of March and gives women the opportunity to get […]

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ALDI cashier being ticketed

Entertainment

ALDI Employee Ticketed For Scanning Over The Speed Limit

3 Mar , 2018  

Britain’s fastest serving supermarket ALDI is renowned for scanning dirt cheap products faster than you can respond to the cashiers “how are you?”. Employees are expected to scan at least 100 items per minute, which is approximately one hundred times faster than Tesco. If an employee fails to meet ALDI’s scanning policy, they must undergo […]

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Entertainment

British Man Set To Rebuild The Empire One Carling At A Time

23 Feb , 2018  

Patriotic British Man Fuelled By Alcohol Is Going To Recapture The World Blackpool resident Barry Stanton is set to claim back the British Empire with his army of patriotic lads and a shit-tonne of Carling. Staton said: “We plan to get one back on the foreigners by invading where they come from. We don’t like […]

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Women laughing at a sad bodybuilder

Sports

Bodybuilder Disappointed by Lack of Sex Despite Basically Living in the Gym

19 Feb , 2018  

A Bodybuilders Sex Life A full-time bodybuilder faces a drought in the dating world as he struggles to get any action whatsoever, despite dedicating his entire life to lifting weights and improving his appearance. Yorkshire resident Tony ‘The Tank’ Mitchell is a weight lifter, bodybuilder and lover of Labrador puppies who claims to have a […]

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Breaking

Man Uses Memes As Unhealthy Coping Method

17 Feb , 2018  

Man Ignores Problems, Finds Comfort In Memes A student from Sheffield has began to use the unconventional method of ‘Meme Therapy’ to deal with his issues. Whilst not actually recommended (or even acknowledged by doctors) the bizarre method does seem to be getting results. It is believed since creating the method it has taken off […]

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Sports

Sports Direct to Only Sell Umbro After Brexit

11 Feb , 2018  

Sportswear Giant Sports Direct to Only Sell Patriotic Umbro After Brexit CEO of Sports Direct, Mike Ashley, has announced that following Brexit all non-British brands will cease to be sold in stores. The move comes as an initiative to make the nation more patriotic. No longer will consumers be able to purchase fashionable foreign brands […]

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Entertainment

Vegan Baby Smarter Than 12-Year-Olds, Because It Doesn’t Drink Milk

9 Feb , 2018  

Baby is Super Intelligent Due to Vegan Devotion to Soy A baby from the midlands is performing exceptional feats and the parents say it is all down to the child’s vegan lifestyle. The baby, Josh, can already read, speak and write as though he was at secondary school. Despite several other prevalent factors contributing to […]

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Breaking

Kim Kardashian Refuses to DENY Accusations She is a Lizard

9 Feb , 2018  

‘No Comment’ from Kim Kardashian on Lizard Claims In a recent public media appearance Kim Kardashian has once again made no comment on the accusations that she is in fact a lizard. A member of the associated press posed the question, stunning celebrity, with Kim only giving a frosty reply of’ ‘no comment’ before storming […]

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Entertainment

Oral Sex Linked to Higher IQ… But There’s a Catch

8 Feb , 2018  

Giving Oral Sex Makes You Smarter, Recipient Dumber, Finds Science Studies by top researchers has found that regularly giving oral sex has links to being smarter. Data from the same study was also found to show that recipients drop IQ points. An experiment at the University of Manchester had participants perform oral sex acts upon […]

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