Politics

LEAKED: Donald Trump & Kim Jong-Un Sex Tape

8 Jun , 2018  

Heads Of State Compare Missiles In XXX Film A spokesperson for Donald Trump has declared the American President at the leaking of his personal sex tape with the North Korean leader. It is not clear at this time who has leaked the tape. There are some early reports that it was leaked by Kim as […]

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Politics

Theresa May Plans War in Syria to Distract Everyone From Failing Brexit

12 Apr , 2018  

UK Government Plans ‘Switcheroo’ Distraction With Syria A spokesperson for the Cabinet has said: “We’re planning to get involved with Syria to distract everyone from our other failings. Our hope is that, even if we clusterfuck this other nation, people will be too consumed with what’s happening to point out our other issues. “We plan […]

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Politics

Welfare State to be Renamed ‘What a State’

22 Mar , 2018  

Government Plans To Let Shambles Continue The government has revealed plans to tackle ongoing problems in the areas of health and social care. Re-branded the “what a state”, the current welfare state system will be completely overhauled by just giving up and allowing it to continue descending into a farce. This includes encouraging storm force […]

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Politics

‘Russia is a bit of a Shithouse’, Says PM Theresa May

16 Mar , 2018  

Theresa Not Happy With Russia’s Antics The Prime Minster has stated that ‘Russia are acting like a bit of a shithouse over this whole poisoning thing’. The comments were made after she had announced Russian diplomats would be expelled from the country but she did not realise her microphone was still on when she spoke […]

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Politics

Labour Vows To Nationalise Kebab Shops When In Power

12 Jan , 2018  

Labour’s Kebab Shop Policy A Voter Favourite Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn, has vowed to nationalise kebab shops once his party come into power. The move will ensure all of the shops will be run by the government with the profits from each one going to benefit the country. A Labour party spokesperson […]

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Politics

Trump Claims He Isn’t Compensating For Anything With His Huge Towers

12 Jan , 2018  

The Size of His Towers Aren’t Compensating For Anything, Says Trump 45th President of the United States, Donald Trump, says he isn’t making up for anything with his huge towers. President Trump has previously had to defend his teeny tiny baby hands from ridicule. Trump said: “What they say about my towers isn’t true. I […]

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Politics

Brexit Divorce: EU to Keep Scotland on Alternate Weekends

23 Oct , 2017  

The Result of Brexit is Joint Custody Ongoing Brexit talks have lead to the UK allowing the EU to have custody of Scotland every other weekend and on alternate Thursdays. The news comes as a surprise after talks hit a stalemate earlier this month. The terms of the agreement mean the European Union will have […]

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Politics

Jeremy Corbyn Vows To Bring Back Gulag

16 Oct , 2017  

Corbyn Announces Forced Labour Camps UK Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has today announced that he intends to bring back the Gulag if he is elected Prime Minister. The extremely socialist left-wing politician has announced a new initiative to get more Brits into work; by introducing forced labour. The move will all but eliminate the […]

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Entertainment, Politics

Donald Trump & Kim Jong-Un Agree to Fight on Pay-Per-View

12 Oct , 2017  

Trump v Kim, No Holds Barred It has today been announced that leader of the free world, Donald J Trump, is to fight the eternal leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un on Pay-Per-View. It has not been decided yet what discipline the match will take. Kim put forward the idea of boxing but Trump claimed […]

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Politics

Trump ‘No Longer Gives a F***’

28 Sep , 2017  

Sources Inside the White House Claim Trump Has Given Up Secret White House recordings have today revealed the President ‘No longer gives a fuck’ in regards to literally anything. Tapes, leaked online by a White House interior aide reveal the President having a bit of a paddy whilst in a meeting with some of his […]

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Breaking, Politics

Voters Stunned When Conservative Party Does Nasty Things

14 Sep , 2017  

Conservative voters were today shocked when the party they voted for, which has a history of making heartless decisions and implementing budget cuts, did yet another evil thing. John Smith, who voted for the Tory’s in the St. Margaretstone constituency said: “Its rocked me to be honest. I know the party has a history of […]

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Politics

Lib Dem MP: “Our Fence-Sitting is Still Relevant’

14 Sep , 2017  

Liberal Democrat MP Tony Cucklesworth went on record today claiming that the Lib Dems are still a relevant party in British politics. Despite sort of being in power two years ago, the Lib Dems now only have 12 seats. This makes them now the fourth-largest political party. Cucklesworth, MP for South Bunglesford, said: “We are still […]

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