The santa bod

Breaking, Entertainment

Experts shed light on the new “santa bod” fetish

1 Dec , 2017  

Mince pie season is in and girls are asking for a different kind of gift from santas sack. First it was your classic buff guys, then came the dad bod. After which came the love for skinny hipsters.  You can probably guess what’s next. The female populations indecisiveness is clearly present in all aspects of […]

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Breaking

Lynx Africa share price quadrupled this december

1 Dec , 2017  

The new million dollar investment: Lynx Africa. The moment the clock struck twelve on the last day of November, there was an immediate spike in share prices for Lynx Africa. Mums from around the world immediately start panic buying from every Poundland, Tesco and B&M. Shelves are cleared out almost instantaneously as retailers struggle to […]

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Breaking, Entertainment

Parliament to Auction off Wales on Cash in the Attic

20 Oct , 2017  

UK Government Decides to Get Rid of Wales The Government has announced it’s new plan to generate more revenue for the country by selling off one of it’s less favourable assets – Wales. Parliament has long wanted to get rid of ‘Cymru’ and the (mostly northern) Welsh finally have their wish of no longer having […]

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Breaking, Entertainment

National Outrage As British Man Jumps Queue

19 Oct , 2017  

Anger Across the Nation as Brit Jumps Queue A man has caused serious outrage up and down the country after carelessly jumping ahead in a queue. The offender, Barry McSandle jumped cut ahead of several other people ahead of him in line to use a Tesco Express cash point. The anger from the other waiting […]

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Breaking

Your Cats Hate You, Research Suggests

30 Sep , 2017  

New Research Claims Cats Are Horrible New collaborative research stemming from the Universities of Newcastle and Sheffield conclusively reveal cats just don’t give a fuck. It has been confirmed that cats actually hate their owners and make terrible pets. The study, soon to be published in many scientific journals, also said people who claim to […]

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Breaking

Milk In Tea First Linked To Being A Psychopath

25 Sep , 2017  

Wrongly Making Tea Could Mean You’re Psychotic A recent study has been published claiming that putting the milk in a cup of tea first is linked to being a psychopath. The research, published by Portsmouth Metropolitan University, stated that every single psychopathic murderer arrested last year made a cup of tea by putting milk in […]

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Breaking

Youtuber With 6 Subscribers Goes Full Time To Make Money

21 Sep , 2017  

Man Makes Bold Decision, Becomes Youtuber Norfolk resident Tony Diggles has made the decision to go full time to become a Youtuber and he can’t wait to cash in. Diggles currently only has 6 subscribers but somehow received 167 views on his latest Minecraft ‘Let’s play’, prompting him to go full time. Formerly an Estate […]

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Breaking

Graduate Realises Uni Isn’t Actually Worth It

21 Sep , 2017  

Graduate Student Comes To Shocking Realisation Tom Spiffswell, a recent graduate of Leeds Beckett University, suffered an existential crisis today where he realised Uni has been a total waste of time. Following his graduation and receiving a 2:2 in Archaelogy, Spiffswell realised he had actually wasted the past three years of his life getting into […]

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Breaking

Dogs Have No Idea What Is Going On, Researchers Discover

21 Sep , 2017  

New Research Suggests Dogs Are Really Stupid A conclusive experiment from Sheffield Hallam University has successfully proved that dogs have no idea what is going on. It has been proven that Man’s best friend is actually a complete idiot. The species, despite how intelligent its owners claim it to be, has minimal self-awareness and lives […]

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Breaking, Entertainment

Defiant Geography Student: ‘Didn’t want a job anyway!’

14 Sep , 2017  

Geography Student Doesn’t Want Employment A defiant geography student has today gone on record to say he “did not actually even want a job” before he started his degree and undertook it for his passion of colouring. Jacoby Slump studied the three-degree at the University of Hull. He said: “Getting a job that pays well […]

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Breaking, Politics

Voters Stunned When Conservative Party Does Nasty Things

14 Sep , 2017  

Conservative voters were today shocked when the party they voted for, which has a history of making heartless decisions and implementing budget cuts, did yet another evil thing. John Smith, who voted for the Tory’s in the St. Margaretstone constituency said: “Its rocked me to be honest. I know the party has a history of […]

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