A photo of a sad giraffe

Breaking

“Surprised We Made It This Far” Says Endangered Giraffe

4 Apr , 2018  

Giraffes are on the brink of endangerment thanks to decades of hunting and habitat destruction. Now featured on the endangered animals list, giraffes are “absolutely livid”. It’s a sad truth we must all come to terms with; our children may never get to ride a giraffe. “Our necks are embarrassingly long and it’s nothing more […]

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Breaking

Coffee Bean Prices Higher Than Bitcoin After National 4 Day Piss-Up Ends

3 Apr , 2018  

Now that everybody is done celebrating Jesus’s death and rebirth, it’s time to go back to relying on caffeine full-time. The rat race is back in full swing and coffee is in serious demand. The four day weekend is over and as a result, demand for coffee is sky high. Local shops struggle to meet […]

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Angry train commuters

Breaking

Train Commuters Demand More Consistent Ticket Inspections

9 Mar , 2018  

Daily train commuters are furious that they can get the train for free despite continuing to purchase tickets before the journey “to save money”. A group of Britons have recently voiced their opinion on the train ticket situation in the UK. Commuters aren’t happy with how inconsistent the ticket inspectors are with their rounds. They’ve been […]

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International Womens Day Protest

Breaking

Male-to-Female Transgender Op Faces 2.5x Price Surge on International Women’s Day

8 Mar , 2018  

International Women’s Day Price Surge Horror With #InternationalWomensDay trending on twitter, demand for male-to-female operations has shot through the roof. The NHS have taken a leaf out of Uber’s book and issued a 2.5x price surge for today only. International Women’s Day occurs on the 8th of March and gives women the opportunity to get […]

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Breaking

Man Uses Memes As Unhealthy Coping Method

17 Feb , 2018  

Man Ignores Problems, Finds Comfort In Memes A student from Sheffield has began to use the unconventional method of ‘Meme Therapy’ to deal with his issues. Whilst not actually recommended (or even acknowledged by doctors) the bizarre method does seem to be getting results. It is believed since creating the method it has taken off […]

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happy bus driver

Breaking

Bus Driver Ecstatic to Receive £20 Note as Payment

12 Feb , 2018  

Bus Drivers love giving out change A recent report reveals that a bus driver from Barnsley was “more than happy” to hand out change. A customer apologetically paid for their journey with a £20 note but was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Johnny Baxter, senior public transport ambassador was genuinely happy to be able to […]

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Breaking

Kim Kardashian Refuses to DENY Accusations She is a Lizard

9 Feb , 2018  

‘No Comment’ from Kim Kardashian on Lizard Claims In a recent public media appearance Kim Kardashian has once again made no comment on the accusations that she is in fact a lizard. A member of the associated press posed the question, stunning celebrity, with Kim only giving a frosty reply of’ ‘no comment’ before storming […]

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Kylie Jenner Lip Kit

Breaking

After nine months, Kylie Jenner reveals that her Lip Kits are from Poundland

4 Feb , 2018  

The Kylie Jenner Scandal Kylie Jenner is renowned for her completely reasonably priced lip kits, retailing at a very modest £30 a lipstick. The lip kits come bundled with a bog-standard lipstick and a Primark-standard lip liner. She’s appeared in the media a lot lately due to speculation of whether her lip kits are just […]

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Breaking, Entertainment

Man Accidentally Wears Clothes On ‘#WorkingNakedDay’

1 Feb , 2018  

Office Worker Forgets To Strip Off For Work Naked Day Administrative assistant Barry McDuckle has humiliated himself by forgetting about International Work Naked Day and turning up to his office wearing clothes. Despite being warned about the festivities the night before, by the attractive women in his workplace, he thought it was just a joke. […]

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Breaking

Actual Pronunciation of the Word ‘Scone’ is Finally Revealed!

31 Jan , 2018  

Historians Discover The Proper Way To Say ‘Scone’ Historians working for Sheffield Hallam University have recently discovered the proper pronunciation of the word. Whilst researching a totally different topic, one senior lecturer came across the details in a book. The lecturer, Professor Julia Oswaldi, was writing a thesis on foods that act as an aphrodisiac […]

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Breaking

Man Has Annual Boxing Day Existential Crisis

26 Dec , 2017  

Bloke Ponders the Point of Existence Again Once again Coventry man Alistair McAllister has pondered his existence now that Christmas has finished and the festive season has peaked. He is currently partaking in his annual existential dilemma. McAllister said: “I don’t know what to do. With the leftovers, with my life or anything really. “I’m […]

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Breaking

Cynical Man Claims He Hates Every Time of Year Not Just Christmas

22 Dec , 2017  

Moody Man is Miserable Month After Month Oxenmouth resident David Flaps has publicly said he is cynical and miserable all year round and not just at Christmas. Flaps said: “Yeh I actually hate all times of year, it really annoys me when people say that I’m just a cynic about Christmas. “Halloween, New Year, Valentines […]

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