Giraffes are on the brink of endangerment thanks to decades of hunting and habitat destruction. Now featured on the endangered animals list, giraffes are “absolutely livid”. It’s a sad truth we must all come to terms with; our children may never get to ride a giraffe.
Oxenmouth News asked some giraffes for their opinion on the endangerment of their brotherhood. We successfully transcribed the interviews using Googles latest Giraffe-to-English translation technology:
“Our necks are about 4 miles long which means I have to focus most of my energy staying balanced, rather than trying to survive”
“As much as I hate humans, you can’t blame them for our piss poor genetics”
“Although I am pretty annoyed that little Jessica and her daddy brutally murdered my cousins for a few likes on Facebook”