Coffee Bean Prices Higher Than Bitcoin After National 4 Day Piss-Up Ends

3 Apr , 2018  

Now that everybody is done celebrating Jesus’s death and rebirth, it’s time to go back to relying on caffeine full-time. The rat race is back in full swing and coffee is in serious demand.

The four day weekend is over and as a result, demand for coffee is sky high. Local shops struggle to meet the demand and customers are off gallivanting from shop to shop to find a quick hit of caffeine. One hour in and Laborers are really feeling the exhaustion without any stimulants at hand, even more so in these chilly temperatures around the UK. Office workers caught whinging because they’ve had to type 3 words into a spreadsheet without relying on drugs.

“Sitting in a comfortable chair and pressing keys all day is extremely tiring. I need my stimulants to get my heart rate going. Construction workers should be thankful how easy they have it!” claims data entry specialist Thomas Pettleworth.


Coffee VS Bitcoin – 03/04/2018

Some shops are charging more for coffee than the current Bitcoin price.

Coffee price chart compared against bitcoin

Above is a snippet taken from a LIVE coffee price chart – the results are shocking.

We asked a roofer, Big Tony, if he enjoyed his 4-day weekend: “I’m still pissed from last nights boozer, wheres the bloody coffee?”


Check out more articles here. Drop us a follow & like on TwitterFacebook to keep up to date with our crap!

, , , , , , ,

A professional bodybuilder, crossfitter and bowls player who occasional likes to write funny articles. Can deadlift over 10kg on a good day. Big fan of caravans.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.