Politics

Welfare State to be Renamed ‘What a State’

22 Mar , 2018  

Government Plans To Let Shambles Continue

The government has revealed plans to tackle ongoing problems in the areas of health and social care. Re-branded the “what a state”, the current welfare state system will be completely overhauled by just giving up and allowing it to continue descending into a farce. This includes encouraging storm force ten cynicism and plans also involve officials folding their arms and saying: “fuck it, there’s nothing we can do.”

Users of the services will also be instructed to fend for themselves. The eventual hope of them even conducting their own heart surgery.
One Health Boss said: “This is an ingenious plan. It places all of the responsibility for health and social care onto the people who are already sick and/or need support in their daily lives.

“This scheme will therefore discourage people from ever becoming ill or growing old. It is an excellent excuse to needlessly spend millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money.

“It will also assist us to achieve our ultimate aim of alienating everyone who isn’t stupendously rich and will allow all of the irritating, needy poor people to be eaten by hordes of rabid dogs or
something.”

No government ministers were available for comment, as they were all too busy wasting other people’s money.

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By
Oxenmouth guest contributor. Drinks gin, but only whilst writing.



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