Purpose of Frogs Still a Mystery, Say Top Scientists

16 Mar , 2018  

Nobody is Sure Why Frogs Exist

Top scientists and research students from the University of Cambridge have revealed they don’t know what the purpose of frogs is. This failure comes after an 18-month experiment and investigation into finding out their exact purpose. The research cost the university and the UK taxpayer a total of £1.6M and the lack of findings has left many people angry.

A spokesperson for the research said: “We thought it would be really easy to discover the purpose of frogs so we just went to the rain forest and fucked about mostly.

“We spent the grant money on raw cut chang and on the indigenous women mostly, safe in the knowledge that once we had blown all the money father would be able to buy us first-class plane tickets home.

“I kicked a frog during the experiment but the bastard exploded, leaving sticky residue on my boot. No matter how much charlie I snorted in the jungle I still couldn’t figure out the froggy bastard’s purpose.

“The experiment was a total waste of time but I’ll probably still get a 2:1 and work as an investment banker at daddy’s firm or something.”

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Former manager of a Sunday league football team, achieving nearly 2 points in 11 games. Just as good at journalism, never lifted a weight in his life.

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