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Single Man Celebrates Steak & Wank Day

12 Mar , 2018  

A Single Man Is Making The Holiday More About Self-Love

Barry Knobber from Portsmouth is planning to take celebrating Steak and Blowjob Day into his own hands – literally. As Barry does not have an S.O., he intends to tenderise his own mean, in both respects on the evening of the 14th of March.

We caught up with Barry to see what else he has planned. When asked, he said: “I’ve taken a half day from work so I can celebrate it properly.

“I’m going to visit my favourite butcher and buy a tender sirloin and later in the evening I’ll beat my own meat like I am in fact a butcher!

“Last year I had this boring girlfriend who only cooked me dinner and stuck my cock in her mouth reluctantly. It wasn’t fun because her heart wasn’t in, just like mine wasn’t in the Valentines a month before. Unlike that, I’m fully invested in this event however. I look forward to my night in of getting peppercorn sauce everywhere – if you’ll pardon the pun.”

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Lover of dogs, trees and dad bods; Emma likes to write funny articles in her own time when she's not playing the Kazookeylele or getting white-girl wasted. 🥂



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