Women laughing at a sad bodybuilder

Sports

Bodybuilder Disappointed by Lack of Sex Despite Basically Living in the Gym

19 Feb , 2018  

A Bodybuilders Sex Life

A full-time bodybuilder faces a drought in the dating world as he struggles to get any action whatsoever, despite dedicating his entire life to lifting weights and improving his appearance.

Yorkshire resident Tony ‘The Tank’ Mitchell is a weight lifter, bodybuilder and lover of Labrador puppies who claims to have a hard time getting women. His routine consists of waking up at 6 a.m to do 2 hours of cardio accompanied by Meal 1. Then he hits the weights section for a 3 hour arm blaster session whilst consuming 4 scoops of “monster mass gainer” which he refers to as meal 2 and 3. Once he’s satisfied with his arm pump, he begins his actual workout consisting of full body strength training which will take him through to the end of the day. From which he can start preparing meals 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8, each involving a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 4 chicken breasts.

 

Sex, weights and protein shakes – without the sex

We asked Tony for his opinion on why he thinks he can’t get women and he followed up with:

“I’m not sure, I do everything right.. I eat clean, I train hard and I love animals. It must be my small calves”

Before we could ask anything else, Tony interupted with:

“Maybe it’s because my chest look a bit flat, or my shoulders could use a bit more work..”

and

“Do my arms look small in this shirt, be honest bro.”

Weighing in at 220lbs, 6% bodyfat – Tonys arms did not in fact look small, by any definition of the word. We went on to ask Tony if he’s currently talking to any girls. He told us that, besides giving the odd spot when he see’s a girl struggling on the bench press, he doesn’t have time as he doesn’t believe in rest days.

It’s unclear why women wouldn’t want to date Tony ‘The Tank’ but we’ll keep you informed when we figure it out. If you’re a women who’s curious what it’d be like to date a bodybuilder check out this article: Truths of dating a bodybuilder

Keep up-to-date with Tonys progress with the ladies by following us on Twitter and Facebook. You can check out out other articles by visiting our website

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By
A professional bodybuilder, crossfitter and bowls player who occasional likes to write funny articles. Can deadlift over 10kg on a good day. Big fan of caravans.



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