Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn, has vowed to nationalise kebab shops once his party come into power. The move will ensure all of the shops will be run by the government with the profits from each one going to benefit the country.
A Labour party spokesperson said: “This is a great initiative to jump-start the British economy. Each weekend thousands of us go out and get shitfaced and stumble into a Kebab shop, but when we come into power this will be for the country’s benefit!
“People will be honoured to flop out of a Wetherspoons knowing the Special Meal 4 they purchase is doing the nation proud.
“This plan is going to align with our ideas to nationalise the railways, energy companies and greyhound tracks.”