A Sunday League footballer has been caught lying about his sporting ability. Big Dave, of East Chunderford Athletic, was found out to be lying about the fact he was ‘a top notch striker’ after failing to register a single goal in the first half of the season.
Big Dave said: “I actually am I great striker. I was part of the Chesterfield academy until I was 5 years old and had trials at Dog & Duck FC. I may not be an out-and-out goal threat but I’m more of a ‘presence’ in the box.”
43 year old Dave joined East Chunderford in the summer amidst great promises of his talent. However after being outpaced by glaciers and fluffing shots from 6 yards away he is close to release.
Following the threat of release Big Dave said: “I do everything to prove I am elite. I make sure to turn up hungover on a Sunday morning and chain-smoke a pack of Lambert & Butler at half time to give me extra energy. I’ve got everything in my game, if I get released I’m sure to find another club.”