Brexit Divorce: EU to Keep Scotland on Alternate Weekends

23 Oct , 2017  

The Result of Brexit is Joint Custody

Ongoing Brexit talks have lead to the UK allowing the EU to have custody of Scotland every other weekend and on alternate Thursdays. The news comes as a surprise after talks hit a stalemate earlier this month.

The terms of the agreement mean the European Union will have to pick up Scotland from it’s swimming lesson on Thursday nights. Whoever has custody is also responsible for dropping the Scots off at school on Mondays – with a full packed lunch.

Talks were surprisingly smooth but got heated elsewhere when Britain announced it would be keeping the family dog.

A spokesperson for the UK’s Brexit team said: “We think this is a great solution and won’t have any negative effect on Scotland at all. In fact, it’ll be better for them as they get to celebrate both their birthday and Christmas twice!

“You can see how stubborn the EU was when I mentioned keeping the dog. That stubbornness is half the reason I left him in the first place.”

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Former manager of a Sunday league football team, achieving nearly 2 points in 11 games. Just as good at journalism, never lifted a weight in his life.

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