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National Outrage As British Man Jumps Queue

19 Oct , 2017  

Anger Across the Nation as Brit Jumps Queue

A man has caused serious outrage up and down the country after carelessly jumping ahead in a queue. The offender, Barry McSandle jumped cut ahead of several other people ahead of him in line to use a Tesco Express cash point.

The anger from the other waiting patrons soon turned violent and the police had to be called for McSandle’s safety. He was originally remanded in police custody but had to be moved to a secret and secure location as he was quickly receiving death threats for committing such a callous offence. He is currently awaiting trial.

Sgt. Ciaran Opper of South Yorkshire Police said: “I stepped in to protect his safety and to ensure the justice system takes place. To be honest though, if I weren’t a policeman I would have left him for the mob.

“Us Brits invented the queue and so we should bloody well respect it! If it were down to me, he would be hung,drawn & quartered for committing such a crime.”

An initial trial date was set for later this month. However, no barrister wishes to defend McSandle due to the nature and severity of the offence. The trial date remains postponed.

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Former manager of a Sunday league football team, achieving nearly 2 points in 11 games. Just as good at journalism, never lifted a weight in his life.

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