Drinking WKD Doesn’t Make Him Any Less Manly, Man Insists

28 Sep , 2017  

WKD Discrimination & The Fight For Equal Drinking Rights Continues

A man has been caught in a local branch of Wetherspoons desperately trying to defend a popular alcopop.

James Stringlefellow, from Norwich, bought the bright blue and barely alcoholic drink just after 10pm on Friday. On his way back from the bar, girls began to shun him and upon returning to his table his friends openly laughed at him. Peer pressure then led him to stop drinking the sugary beverage and go back to the bar for a bitter.

Speaking to our reporters, Stringlefellow said: “It ruined my night to be honest. I’d had a hard week working on a construction sight and was looking forward to relaxing with a nice WKD. I was apprehensive about buying it but thought ‘It’s 2017, there are surely harder things to accept than a man drinking a WKD’.

Upon my return I learnt how wrong I was. I tried to convince them by telling them about the sort of funny adverts the drink has. All it did was make them laugh harder.

“The peer pressure made me feel horrible, even the lads drinking Strongbow Dark Fruits were having a go. I ended up with some horrible bitter that only the weird lad with a beard in the group usually likes to drink.”

When asked if he would ever return to drinking WKD, Stringlefellow said: “I certainly will and I’m going to drink it with pride. As well as that I’m going to set up a solidarity march for any other blokes afraid to drink WKD. Together we can stop the discrimination.”

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Former manager of a Sunday league football team, achieving nearly 2 points in 11 games. Just as good at journalism, never lifted a weight in his life.

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