Anal Sex Improves Life Expectancy, Study Confirms

25 Sep , 2017  

Scientists Are Excited About The Health Benefits of Anal

A recent scientific study has been published and claims that receiving anal sex improves life expectancy.

Researchers at University College London have discovered that life expectancy for people who often receive anal sex increases by up to three years.

Professor Phinga Mhbumole regarding the discovery, said: “The news has come as a shock to some of our researchers. We aren’t entirely sure what the correlation between the act and life expectancy is but the results are conclusive. I for one can attest that my personal research was exceptionally thorough.

“This is likely welcome news to boyfriends everywhere. They now have scientific backing to convince their significant others to take the back route. Whether or not we see a surge in both anal sex and life expectancy remains to be seen.”

There have been some critics of the study however, with some complaining about the validity of the experiment. Marianne Godschurch, of the Conservative Life Association, said: “Who exactly commissioned this research? It doesn’t make any sense. You expect me to believe I’ll live longer if I take it up the arse?”

The results may be conclusive but just like climate change, it may take some time to convince everyone.

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Former manager of a Sunday league football team, achieving nearly 2 points in 11 games. Just as good at journalism, never lifted a weight in his life.

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