Dogs Have No Idea What Is Going On, Researchers Discover

21 Sep , 2017  

New Research Suggests Dogs Are Really Stupid

A conclusive experiment from Sheffield Hallam University has successfully proved that dogs have no idea what is going on.

It has been proven that Man’s best friend is actually a complete idiot. The species, despite how intelligent its owners claim it to be, has minimal self-awareness and lives to lick its own arse.

Professor Charles Anine, of Sheffield Hallam University, said: “Dogs are really thick, like really, really thick. Our experiment was 100% conclusive in its results. We gave each dog a pen and paper and asked them to answer some basic maths questions.

“Only one of them even attempted to answer the test and it failed because it forgot to show it’s method”

When asked about how this study affects dogs as pets, Professor C. Anine said: “It probably won’t have much bearing on them as pets. Dog owners love their animals and are usually as thick as the dogs they own.

“Dogs do have one good thing going for them though, at least they’re loyal. Not like those horrible cat bastards.”

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Former manager of a Sunday league football team, achieving nearly 2 points in 11 games. Just as good at journalism, never lifted a weight in his life.

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